June 30, 2022

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What to do if your coworkers don’t like you

4 min read

boris johnson trust vote

41% of Boris Johnson’s coworkers voted to oust him (Picture: Getty)

Boris Johnson won a no-confidence motion in parliament last night with votes of 211 lawmakers in support of his leadership, with 148 against.

The prime minister may have ended up with a majority, but with 41% of his own party’s MPs voting to oust him, there is no sigh of relief yet.

Whether Johnson stays or goes away, he now painfully knows that more than a third of his colleagues distrust and/or dislike—and that’s stinging.

Although most of us wouldn’t have written it this way in black and white, it’s not uncommon for those at work to bow their heads.

No one is everyone’s cup of tea, and there’s no need to move on to coworkers. But when issues do surface, they can create bigger problems.

Dr. Maria Kordowicz, Psychologist and Director of the Center for Interprofessional Education and Learning at the University of Nottinghamtells Metro.co.uk: ‘If you constantly feel ostracized by others, this can potentially lead to anxiety about being at work.

‘Not only can this impair our ability to perform tasks effectively, but it can also lead to low self-confidence and low mood, as well as a sense of helplessness.’

how to tell if your coworkers don’t like you

According to Dr. Maria Kordowicz, if you’re concerned that your coworkers dislike you, here are the signs to watch for:

  • ‘You may feel that some co-workers are away from you.
  • There may be cues in their body language such as displeasing facial expressions, lack of eye contact or a desire to limit conversation with you.
  • They may exclude you from tasks and social activities, or may not acknowledge your contribution to the workplace.
  • Maybe you feel like you can’t trust them, or you may even find out that untrue rumors have been spread about you to undermine others’ trust in you as a coworker.
  • You may feel duped privately or publicly and be ridiculed in front of others in a way that causes you discomfort.

If you consistently feel underrated or criticized, or receive aggressive or irritating behavior from coworkers (including verbal put-downs or being picked on) this could constitute bullying at the workplace.

Similarly, it is the case if opportunities for promotion or growth are constantly blocked or tasks are added and taken away from you without justification.

In these situations, it’s important to talk to your manager or human resources team so that this type of behavior can be eliminated early on.

However, conflict at work is not always personal, and can be a symptom of someone not gaining weight or acting inappropriately.

Before jumping to conclusions, it’s worth assessing whether there’s a reason you’re personalityless at work.

Dr Maria says: ‘We rarely have control over whether we are liked or not. However, it’s important to consider what kind of collaborator you are.

‘Are you helpful and helpful, or do you underestimate others and their work, causing your co-workers to distance themselves from you? Do you contribute equally to the tasks? If you are a manager, do you aim to develop others, or are you unnecessarily authoritarian, pushing your employees to separate from you?’

If you find that coworkers’ attitude is appropriate, aim to address the symptoms that are giving them away. Once you are giving the expected energy from colleagues, respect will come back to you in abundance.

Dr Maria adds: ‘To improve our working life, connecting with others and fostering a sense of mutual respect is paramount.

‘If we treat our colleagues with kindness and approach our work with dedication, objectivity and interest, we can find comfort in it.’

Unfortunately, when it comes to office hostility there isn’t always a quick fix. Sometimes, people are just bullies, and nothing you do will round them off.

“It is important to speak to our line manager or a trusted senior colleague and use the appropriate HR channels to report inappropriate conduct by colleagues,” says Dr. Maria.

‘If you do not feel supported enough by your employer to be able to speak, I suggest seeking outside advice through an organization such as ACAS So you don’t feel that you have to deal with this issue alone.

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