July 3, 2022

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I’m looking for the man of my dreams – are you the one?

7 min read


I want to find the man who will haunt the hell out of me and steal a duvet out of love (Picture: Joshua Dennis)

I’m a very confident, outspoken, loving and generous gay man who really feels it’s time for me to find Mr. Right.

I also have cerebral palsy.

So here it is – this article is my official search for love and these are the reasons why you should date me.

For someone who usually can’t keep quiet, getting started on this was a challenge, but here I am and here I go. They say you only regret the things you don’t… well, let’s test that theory!

Let’s start with the important things.

I have cerebral palsy, which means I use a wheelchair, so ‘being swept off my feet’ is definitely not romantic, but a nightmare. But at 37, I am extremely independent.

I live in a flat that is completely customized for my needs and I am supported to manage normal activities of daily living like cooking and laundry. No one helps me personally and I am an avid user of all forms of transport in London without assistance on an almost daily basis.

My freedom is very important to me; I have had experiences where people have suggested that my disability may be a barrier to bonding.

A guy from college – who actually worked with people with disabilities – once told me when we randomly met years later that he would ‘never date a wheelchair user’. Challenges, challenges.

I’ve been out as gay since 2004 my first feelings for a guy (god knows why I liked him – he backed Arsenal!)

To be honest, coming out didn’t even matter to me. It was actually a slight drop in the stakes of the revelation. I told my sister at the time and she simply replied, ‘Okay then!’ As soon as she disappeared from above. I thought to myself, ‘Isn’t it meant to be a drama?’

Then what am I looking for?

People would rightly ask me why I wanted to put myself out there like this. Frankly, it is because it is time for something different (Picture: Joshua Dennis)

I want someone who is there for me and I for them. The one person who could be the final piece in the jigsaw (and help me finish them) but also the one who would annoy the hell out of me and lovingly steal a duvet.

I will say that I have a great smile and an amazing sense of humor – but you can be the judge of the latter by the end of this piece!

I’m looking for someone who likes good conversation and enjoys humor; Someone who is caring, helpful and has a strong personality. I’m probably the world’s most avid reader and I’ve definitely done my best to keep the Waterstones in business during lockdown, so if everyone I meet loves reading, that’s an added bonus.

I don’t really know who that is, but I love it when someone has something they’re really passionate about, whatever it is.

I want someone who is open-hearted, committed to his life goals, who wants to take the time to get to know me and, ultimately, is open to the possibility of a long-term romantic relationship.

People would rightly ask me why I wanted to put myself out there like this. To be honest, it’s because it’s time to do something different.

Although I’ve been in love twice (and once or twice more than I thought I was), nothing is ever ‘stuck’. I’ve tried every dating app under the sun—almost to the point of repetitive stress bruising—and realized that for me, it might never work.

There have been many times when I have thought might Just meeting up somewhere while chatting with a guy, but then things stalled for no reason.

Maybe it’s because, for some people, ‘swiping’ has become a goal in itself and when they find out the person they’re messaging they want to meet, they don’t really think they are. Wanting more (or we’ve gotten to the point) while making plans to meet, his feet go cold as he realizes I really exist) and that’s it.

I’ve deleted so many apps so many times that all the memories seem to roll into one, but ‘Nice to talk to you, look forward to meeting you’, and then absolutely nothing when I follow through on the day. To meet, pretty much sums up my online dating experiences.

the worst was when I did To meet someone We thought we were having a good time, but then I realized he was browsing a dating app right in front of me.

Joshua Dennis smiling in a selfie

I would not be writing this if I had found a relationship in a more traditional way (Picture: Joshua Dennis)

I often wonder if my disability makes it impossible for me to live out the images of perfection we regularly see in the gay community through online dating. It’s pretty clear that I use a wheelchair in most of my photos, so people don’t have to turn away to make an immediate negative decision, if that’s what they want to do.

I have certainly felt different because I am clearly different – ​​but then I realized that I am far from alone in facing this challenge.

While I can’t say that my dating life has always been fun, my disability hasn’t stopped me from making the best of what I am, which is a lot.

I have a great family and friends and although I sometimes struggle with my confidence and some of the challenges of living in a city that – while amazing – is not always set up for my chair, I have been in steady employment in a telecom. The company has been around for almost five years now, which I am very happy with.

I am also a very independent traveler and have visited many countries including Spain, Italy, Australia and Egypt (oh and the Caribbean six times). If you want a vacation, my family can join in!

I have three sisters, plus a brother who lives in Melbourne and my father is Dominican, so makes frequent trips to the Caribbean. I have also developed family ties with Egypt. Other trips are city vacations with friends.

There always seems to be a cute looking guy keeping my eye on my travels – usually on the Tube, or just walking in the sun in the local parks. Of course that’s cool, they usually happen to someone else!

Fancy helping me make it real with a drink in the sun? Mine is a lemon and lime!

Seriously, it would be wrong to say that I don’t have challenges. I don’t always find it easy to pass out and, disability or not, I prefer quieter activities (I can’t even stand the cold!). But I think everyone who knows me knows when I’m in the room – usually because I’ve locked the door!

I wouldn’t be writing this if I had found a relationship in a more traditional way.

But I guarantee you that meeting me will be the best thing you’ve ever done – and you may be the one.

Are you interested? you can email josh here,

Do you have a story you would like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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