Very Funny 911 Call...

This is toooo funny!!!

BELIEVE It or NOT!  These are REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller:  I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from
the brown house on
the corner.

Dispatcher:  Do you have an address?

Caller:  No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller:  Someone broke into my house and took a bite out
of my ham and
cheese sandwich .

Dispatcher:  Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese  sandwich and left it on
the kitchen table
and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of
it.

Dispatcher:  Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm
sick and tired of
it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone
doesn't have a eleven
on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller:  I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are
the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife's pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is...

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of
breath. Damn, I
hink I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher:  Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone at Atlantic and Whittier Blvd.

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an
asthmatic?

Caller: No.

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started
having trouble
breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.